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Group: Josh Arteta, Hannah Whitt, Sabrina Syvankham Oh Ms. Maestri, it is amazing that one would have the audacity to produce such a condescending, hateful rebuttal such as yours, when you in fact fall prey to many of those mistakes that are so "apparent" in Professor Webb's article on soccer. For one, I would like to question the fact that you even read the article in full, as it was apparent to an English class of pubescent high-schoolers that the entire article was intended to be satirical. The whole entire point of Webb's article was to mock "naysayers" of soccer. If you had read the entirety of the article, you would have seen in the last paragraph that Webb actually has three girls who play soccer, he believes the sport is beneficial to kids and adults, and that he gains some contentment from the sport. Why would a college professor, with a degree in philosophy, and with three daughters who play the sport (and a wife to boot) insult women and soccer? And why would he make all these claims about the depravities of the sport without a shred of logical evidence? Any human being with even a hint of intelligence would have found it at least slightly ironic, bordering upon folly, and would have re-evaluated what the professor was saying in the chance of finding ambiguity in his words.
Your arguments are valid in the fact that his arguments often have little-to-no logical support, and that his comments are derisive and churlish. The biggest mistake upon your part, though, was not recognizing that this entire facade supported his actual beliefs. Several of your comments are quite amusing and ironic, such as “He also gave us a brain for a reason. Try using it next time you write an article.” An appropriate response would be, “Try using your brain the next time you read an article. Due to the fact that you completely failed to grasp the implications of what Webb was trying to accomplish, it is clear that I will not be able to refute your passage as a whole, lest I repeat myself and risk sounding redundant. Therefore, it will be necessary to instead analyze, judge, and refute several of the snippets found in your rebuttal of Webb’s article. Your comment towards Webb that “maybe you should have actually made it humorous” is ironic beyond imagination, for Webb’s entire article was intended to be satirical, especially once the reader (or at least any other reader besides you) gets to the last paragraph. His tone throughout the majority of the passage is one of a sardonic, dry humor of condescension; an unlikeable person to most. But once he reveals his true sentiments, and demonstrates a self-deprecating nature of rational argumentation, it is clear that his facade was both comical and extremely satirical. It is apparent that one could likely find this alternate character at a sports bar on saturday night, asleep in his cup. He essentially exaggerates the character of “naysayers”, almost like one would see in a slapstick comedy. Thus, your aforementioned claim that he has no humor at all is ridiculous and completely false. I find it extremely amusing that you consider his anecdotes about baseball to be completely obsolete and irrelevant, when in reality he promotes soccer as a sport. His actually clever metaphors showed that other sports might cause children to become more arrogant, or that they promote other negative characteristics, while he sees soccer as promoting fitness and coordination. His “largest exaggerations I’ve ever seen” were really part of his rhetorical strategy in making “naysayers” appear overconfident and foolish. And would it not have struck you as being odd that a college professor would refer to soccer as “boring”, and that he considered penalty shootouts to be “anticlimactic”, when even the dumbest of people know that soccer is the most popular sport in the world. And for an educated person to refer to penalty shootouts, which are literally the most exciting part of the game, as anticlimactic is an ever so obvious hint at ambiguity and word play. Also, as to your arguments that Webb is idiotic for saying that defense is umimportant, would it not be suspicious that a college professor didn’t recognize that America has the largest and most expensive defense program in the world, and thus we do enjoy defense? I mean, our most popular sport, football, revolves around one man being defended by vicious attackers until he can lob a ball to another man, who is also being defended. Clearly that statement was intended to be satirical. And what you claim to be his “dumbest statement” ironically also happens to be your dumbest statement. Due to your lack of complete knowledge from not finishing the article, you don’t realize how idiotic it sounds for a father of three girls, and who has a wife, to insult women. Judging by your reaction, it is clear that Webb’s words and strategy actually had the perfect effect that he would have desired; you became increasingly angry at him. Once again, I must reiterate that had you read the last paragraph, his strategy would have been completed, and you would have been an even more adamant supporter of soccer, or you at least would have recognized Webb’s defense of the sport. But you were instead given an incomplete picture. Your arguments were therefore made completely obsolete, for you were missing a crucial piece of information; it was all satirical. Just that one little thing changes one’s entire interpretation of the article. If a lesson were to be learned from this, it would be that one must first see the entire picture before they try to react to it or even consider refuting or condoning it. |
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